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Hi Stacey and everyone! My name is Michelle and I am a Military mama as we all are I would assume if you are reading this. I told Stacey I wanted to be involved and share what our experience has been so far. I am kind of a newbie to this arena of Military life, when we first met my husband had been out of the Navy for a year after being in for 6, then a year later he was in the Guard and a year after that he is back in full active in the Army. I knew this was going to be a struggle for me on my own with two kids working full time and going to school part time, while he was gone for training for 6 months. In the beginning communication was easy to come by he had school all day and finished right when I got done with work, so we could talk anytime, even with an hour time difference between us. However last month they switched him to night school so now the talking is few and far between breaks in school and when one or the both of us is not sleeping. This is added stress to our relationship. Then there is the jealousy of his freedom during Training. I never realized how upset I could get at him for being able to go out every weekend and go bowling or playing cards with the guys, when I am stuck at home with the two kids lovely as they are, but have no way of going out myself and blowing off some steam because I have no family or friends directly around me to give me some time off. Its hard to not get hurt and upset when I am very lonely and need to talk and I call him only to catch him drinking and having a great time at a BBQ with his roomies. I just have to remind myself he deserves this time because it will change soon enough for him. However, I got over myself pretty quickly when my husband told me how painful it was for him being away, that despite the fact he can go out now and then, that its never as much fun as it would be when we are together, and that when he does go out he often thinks about me knowing I don’t get the time away that I deserve. That it is very hurtful for him to picture me sitting at home alone on a Saturday night when he should be there with me, and then there is the daily life I never realized how much he missed us on a daily basis. He had been hurt and angry for me being able to be with the kids and see the kids everyday when he is away from all of us and wants to be there with us. Its this kind of communication that really puts life into perspective, and despite the lack of communication there has been lately when we do talk it is golden. Last month we found out that in 5 months he is deploying to Korea for a year Unaccompanied, well that blew the daydreams of being back together soon and moving to a U.S. duty station out of the water! All the planning I had done. All the day dreams of quitting my job to be with my kids and moving on base were pushed back about a year or more depending on what the housing situation is when he returns. I was shocked and stunned and hurt. This is when I realized as a newbie in the military world that I just have to learn to go with the flow, I can plan all I want but in the end it’s ultimately up to the Military. This revelation for a control freak, list person that I am is a very hard pill to swallow. HOWEVER after mourning this news of his deployment and getting a spoon full of sugar to swallow this very hard pill down I realized, This is the choice both my husband and I made together. As a wife, mother and an American I Stand by this choice with loyalty and honor and will make the best out of whatever situation should arise for my family. I hope you have all enjoyed reading and maybe relating to our experiences so far. I am hoping to write again soon with our new path that we are taking as time goes on. Thanks for your time and write to you all soon. Military mama.
Submit your own story to me at stacey@marriedtothearmy.com.
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