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Guide For New Army Parents by Regan McDonald
Joining the Army can be a tough transition for all involved in the process. It’s a life change for the soldier and his new Army spouse and kids, and it’s a tough change for the parents. Whether you are the soldier’s parents, or the spouse’s, you will suddenly find yourself translating military code, learning a new way to tell time and struggling to find ways to support your son’s family through this tough time. While you can easily find ways to translate military “language” and learn how to tell time online, it’s a bit tougher to find ways to support your soldier. Just Say Yes! A lot of times, the most comforting thing for a new military spouse is for someone to offer to help. The simple words convey that you love them and want to be there for them. As a new military spouse, I found myself floundering all over the place not knowing where to go, what I need to do or who can help me figure out this new life. The support I received from my family and my husband’s family has been absolutely invaluable. Ways you can offer to help are: - Help them learn their way around their new town/post - Watch the kids while they attend coffees and FRG meetings. - Offer to visit and help unpack. - Offer to lend an ear and encourage her to vent! - Treat your soldier’s spouse to a massage or a movie. -
Send encouraging notes. To visit or not to visit … That is the question. Visiting your soldier and his
family can be a great source of comfort.
Or it can be a HUGE source of stress.
While you want to see where they live and what their new life is
all about; they may be unpacking, learning the area or just trying to
make it through every day. A lot of times you may find that the spouse’s family is
planning a visit but you feel unwelcome.
Keep in mind that this is very natural.
It is a lot less stress for your own parents to see you in
disarray, but often you want your husband’s family to only see you
clear-headed and in control. Offer to visit or to help
unpack, but let them know that it is okay to decline the offer or push
the date back a couple weeks. Once
the spouse gets settled and meets new friends, you will find that she
will be much more amenable to the idea of company. NOTE:
Please don’t plan to visit your soldier within two weeks of a
deployment or a return from a deployment.
This is a time that is difficult for the family and can be
complicated further by your visit.
Instead, be supportive from afar and send an encouraging note to
the spouse about how much you appreciate them a week or so after the
soldier leaves. She will
thank you! The Kid Factor Grandkids are a wonderful
thing and many parents have had to wait a long time to be blessed with
grandchildren. While it may be hard to be away from your grandchildren, try
not to use those emotions to make the soldier or his spouse feel guilty
that you don’t get to see them as often as you’d like.
It’s just as hard or harder on them that they have no reprieve
without being reminded of it. Instead,
offer to have the kids come to see you for a week or two every summer,
which will allow your soldier and his spouse to reconnect.
If he is deployed, his spouse can have a little time to relax and
get her feet under her. Education is Key Take the time to learn as
much as possible about your soldier’s new life.
The internet has a multitude of great sites that explore every
aspect about the Army life. The
more you know, the more you can help and support your family.
Just reading this article shows that you care about them.
Imagine how impressed they will be when you throw in a little
military slang or don’t have to ask what 1700 is again! Conclusion Basically, the key to supporting your soldier is to support his spouse and kids. That support can come in the form of a visit, a phone call or even an e-mail, as long as it comes from you. Be proud of the sacrifices he has chosen to make to serve his country and don’t make him feel guilty for them or scared of them. Instead, hold your chin up high and know that he couldn’t do it without you! RELATED LINKS: Learn how to read the Leave Earnings Statement (LES) line by line.
All About Army Pay For Your Soldier Find out how much your Army soldier can expect to be paid during his enlistment.
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